


Reentry

by Enchantable



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury, Kidnapping, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24600403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchantable/pseuds/Enchantable
Summary: “Guess I’m not so miserable a liar after all, huh?” He says.“You’re still pretty bad.”“Come on, I’m not that bad,” Michael says. Alex scoffs, “I had you fooled.”
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75
Collections: Something Cosmic





	1. Peak heat flux

**Author's Note:**

> Original Prompt: Can I prompt you Michael having a moment to see Alex as a condition to building the bomb and maybe actually telling Alex what he means to him.

He’s been through worse.

Alex keeps repeating that to himself. This? This is nothing. Not to mention he knows the people doing this to him, it doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots. Taking out the main military person he gets, he can follow the thought process there. But that still leaves a lot of resourceful people. Kyle and Michael have both struck back against his father, he knows he hasn’t forgotten that. So either they are here too or he was taken for a different reason. They’re smart enough to restrain him properly. He’s tried to get out of the restraints but the last time he got semi close they caught on and he doesn’t know how long he was out for, but long enough. The door opens and he looks over.

“5 minutes.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

His stomach drops as Michael comes in, hands cuffed together. Seeing Michael in cuffs makes his stomach squirm, even though he knows Michael has been arrested so many times he probably has a dedicated pair at the police station. Then again the person who kept arresting him was Max. That failsafe isn’t here. The cuffs he’s wearing don’t belong to somewhere that will keep him safe. The fact that he’s cuffed at all is troubling. In his gut Alex knows what’s going on, but his mind struggles to catch up. He’s been through worse, he’s been captured and tortured as part of a unit. As a solider of the US Military.

He’s never been captured as leverage.

He and Michael have been used against each other for sure but this is a new and humiliating low. Alex as always struggled to have pride in the face of his family, in the face of what he is. No matter how far he comes they seem to have a unique talent for shattering it. Especially his father but also whoever is on his side. This though is a new low. This isn’t his father and a belt advancing on a kid, this is a full on sanctioned kidnapping. He’s a trained soldier, he’s supposed to be better than that. His focus has been on moving on, becoming a good man and not a military drone, but sitting in the chair has shown him how that isn’t an option. Not how he’s been doing it. Seeing Michael standing there in cuffs just hits him across the face with it.

“Are you alright?” He asks. Michael nods, “what did they do to you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Michael says.

“Michael,” Alex begins. Michael winces at his name.

“Let say for all intents and purposes I’m as human as you are,” he says with a quirk of his lips.

Alex is horrified at the admission. This entire thing suddenly smarts of Caulfield. They’ve changed the glass for handcuffs and now he’s effectively the one in the cell, but it’s chillingly similar. His father is not the most creative man. Michael glances over at the door but doesn’t come much closer. Alex doesn’t know what they’ve told him, what they’ve done to him, but some of it is clearly tied to him.

“Whatever they’ve told you, don’t listen to them,” Alex says firmly, “I’m fine,” he tells him, “whatever happens to me is on me, not on you,” Michael looks away, “look at me,” Alex says, careful to keep his tone steady, “it’s not on you. This is because I’m my father’s son. You just got pulled into it because he’s got outdated information. You don’t have to do anything because of the past anymore.”

Michael looks down at his hands. It’s like a fucked up metaphor for what’s going on. Alex is as erased from there as he is from everywhere else in Michael’s life, barely even a mark to show for it. He’s sure the mark is there, like he’s sure the scar is there, he could even lie and say he knows where to look still, but it’s hard to be the one who is always looking. He’s not proud of how exhausted he is when it comes to that, it makes him feel like a coward, but sometimes—sometimes a battle is just lost. He fundamentally can’t accept that except when there truly isn’t another option. He’s always been the type to believe in another chance, in the slightest flicker of hope.

“I’m gonna get you out of here,” Michael says finally.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” Alex demands.

“Yeah,” Michael nods, “but I’m gonna get you out of here.”

“I appreciate that,” Alex starts, “but it’s not your responsibility—“

“They took you because they need me,” Michael says simply.

“Right,” Alex clicks the pieces together. If they believe that they won’t take anyone else. Maybe he can buy Michael some time to figure out how to stop them before anyone who matters gets hurt. Despite everything Alex would rather be the one in the chair. “Sorry they figured it out,” he says, “after the last few months I thought you had them fooled. You had me fooled.”

Michael gives a soft, humorless sort that’s almost genuine. Alex could almost believe it. Michael is simultaneously the worst and best liar he’s ever known. Maybe it’s the fact that his partially healed heart is being tugged open again, but for a single vulnerable moment Alex can let himself believe that they’re speaking about the same thing. He’s long since learned to channel his own pain into something useful. At the very least it will help him keep other people safe.

“Guess I’m not so miserable a liar after all, huh?” He says.

“You’re still pretty bad.”

“Come on, I’m not that bad,” Michael says. Alex scoffs, “I had you fooled.”

“That’s just because I got wrapped up in my own head,” Alex says, “everyone had me fooled for the past couple of months,” pain flickers in Michael’s eyes but Alex doesn’t want his pity, “hey know better, do better, right?” He tries to shift his weight but that risks his ankle and he needs that if he’s got any chance at making it out of here, “it doesn’t make you any better at lying to me.”

He hopes that it’s coming across he’s caught on. He’s ready to sell this and keep everyone else safe. He hopes Michael gets that and doesn’t do anything stupid out of his own guilt or obligation. Alex doesn’t want anyone getting hurt for him, he especially doesn’t want them getting hurt because of pity. He and Michael are on the same page that they’ve put each other through enough. Maybe they could have built a friendship out of this one day, but if his freedom means that someone else gets hurt it’s not a freedom Alex is interested in. He didn’t become a solider to keep himself safe.

“I guess we’re gonna have to have a long talk when this is over,” Michael says.

Alex opens his mouth to agree but doesn’t trust his voice with the reply. He settles instead for a nod. For a moment being bound here is too much. He has to force himself to calm down. He has to force himself to accept that actually he would like to have that conversation, even if Michael clearly doesn’t. He has to force himself to accept he’s angry and embarrassed that he has to sell this. The humiliation only gets worse when he sees concern on Michael’s face.

“I don’t want you or anyone else getting hurt trying to have it,” Alex says. Lies are always more believable when they’re based in truth, “besides one of us will probably just wind up walking away again.”

“We could choose not to,” Michael shoots back.

“When have we ever made that choice at the same time?” Alex asks.

“You just said—“ Michael’s brow furrows in confusion and then gives way to panic. Alex hears the door open, “I need a minute,” Michael says.

“No,” comes the flat reply.

Whatever Alex is expecting, Michael crushing their mouths together isn’t it. He moves fast and his lips are against his for one heart stopping moment. Alex isn’t even sure he manages to react before they are yanked apart. His head is yanked back and there’s a painful light in his face as they examine his mouth to see if Michael has given him a key or something. They take the light away and he manages to focus enough to see Michael being hauled to his feet. The gag muffles whatever he’s trying to say but the words aren’t necessary. In the moment all they can do is stare at each other, finally understanding.

“Don’t try to get me out of here!” Alex yells at him. Michael makes a noise through the gag, “whatever they’re trying to get you to do, don’t do it! Michael!”

There’s a splitting pain in his head and the world goes dark all over again.


	2. Heat load

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Michael and the bomb speculation

In hindsight, he probably should have expected this.

Another countdown, another life or death situation measured by a stupid timer that echoes the rapid thump, thump, thump of his heart. Flint’s presence is a nice touch. Of course some part of him is furiously, brokenly resentful at the absence of his mother, but he shoves the thought away and tries again to get at the glass.

No dice.

On the other side of the barrier, Alex works. Michael can’t see what restrains him, but Alex is another story. The bruises, the cuts, they’re all painful obvious. To say nothing of the sleepless shadows and pallor of his skin. His hands aren’t steady but he keeps at it, bracing one hand against his knee or the husk of the bomb Michael made.

“Stop, stop,” Michael says finally, trying to put authority into his voice, “Alex—“

“No.”

“Alex!”

He gets a dagger filled glare before Alex turns back to the bomb. Stubborn, stubborn asshole. Michael feels every part of him tense at the dismissal. Of course Alex is going to stay and try. Stay and die, he corrects himself. There’s no saving both of them, no more than there is a them.

“Why then?” Michael challenges instead, “what are you trying to prove?” He sees Alex’s shoulders tense and he digs into the wound, “you’re not like them if you leave,” he says, trying to make his voice steady, “Alex, listen, you’re not another Manes,” Alex says nothing, just goes a little tenser. The beeping seems turn more frantic, “damn it Alex, don’t do this!” He says slamming his hand against the glass.

“Nothing is going to happen,” Alex says, his voice infuriatingly calm and his hands still working, “if you stop distracting me.”

Michael hates how much he wants to believe that. It makes him feel like this is another parallel to an earlier time. When he wanted to believe in someone’s words so damn badly. No matter how much the world kept telling him it was a stupid fucking thing to do. He wants to believe when Alex says it’ll be okay, that al he has to do is something so simple and everything will be fine. There isn’t much Michael wouldn’t do for Alex, but the small stuff has always been whatever kryptonite is on the planet he came from.

“You know dying here with me still counts,” he says instead, “it means you never moved past the tool shed, or the alien bullshit, or any of it,” he tells him, “whatever comes next they’re gonna know.”

“I’ll worry about that when I get there,” Alex tells him switching to a different angle, “someone redid your wiring.”

Michael’s stomach bottoms out. He tried to make the bomb easy, because he didn’t want to blow anyone up. Sure he had plans to follow but there were tweaks he could make, tweaks that only someone smart would see. Was he hoping that someone smart was going to be Alex? Maybe. But he was also hoping Alex would have nothing to do with his bomb. He should have known it wouldn’t be that simple. His fists clench and he gives the glass another hard shove. His mind and his fist betray him equally as he feels a crack in his hand and the glass says furiously untouched. Alex glances at him through his lashes before refocusing.

“You have to go,” he says abruptly, “I can’t convince you, I know that okay? But please,” the word slips out, “don’t make me go out knowing I killed you.”

Alex’s hand falters. His brows knit together and Michael holds his breath for the cut to break. It seems stupid but he’s not sure he can handle seeing Alex bleed. Hell he can’t handle any of this. But he also can’t do anything about it. The drug might be out of his system but there’s more than one way to keep an alien down apparently. Finally Alex looks up at him. Just that makes Michael realize Alex isn’t sure he can diffuse the bomb. It’s the first hurdle to getting Alex to leave. It takes a lot to make Alex give up but Michael’s got a knack for it, they both know it.

“I’m not leaving you here,” Alex says.

“Yes you are,” Michael shoots back. It’s a mistake because Alex seems to rally, “just go, I was looking for a way off this planet anyway remember?”

He’s hoping that bringing up their fight will remind Alex that they were done with each other, that he was over it and walking away. It seems to remind Alex of something but Michael knows in his bones it’s not what he wants him to remember. Alex still isn’t getting up. Or moving away from the bomb. Or any of the things that Michael is desperately willing him to do. He hasn’t turned into Isobel though so Alex just keeps doing what he wants.

“Why did you stop?” He asks.

“Now isn’t the time for questions!” Michael snaps, cringing at the surprised laugh that comes out of Alex’s mouth.

“Really?” Alex asks, “now’s not the time?” Michael rolls his eyes, “why?” Alex presses, “what made you change your mind?”

Michael didn’t think he’d die lying like this. He tries to focus back on Alex. Getting Alex out of here is the only thing that matters. All he has to do is be a selfish ass for another few minutes and this can all be over. The thought makes him laugh because there’s no better description of what he’s been the past few months. And none of it has worked because they are right back here. The laugh that escapes his lips is twisted and despite everything, concern shoving it’s way past Alex’s calm, solider energy. Stupid fucking emotions. He doesn’t have a shot in hell of lying to him.

“If I tell you, do you promise you’ll go?” He asks, “no matter what I say?” Alex hesitates, “get up,” Michael says, his voice somehow steady, even as he feels sweat drip down his back, “get up and I’ll tell you.”

Alex is smarter than him though. There’s no bargaining with him. Michael sees the calm and determination shine through and knows with a sinking feeling the door is closing. Alex would deny what he wants, he’d pull his own heart out of his chest, to do the thing he knows is right. Because that’s Alex, it always has been. He shakes his head to clear it and grabs the tool he dropped, checking the timer briefly and wincing a what he sees before refocusing.

“Forget it,” Alex says and turns back to the bomb.

“You were back,” Michael blurts out, “I couldn’t leave while you were back—“

“You could date someone else though?” Alex questions.

“So could you,” Michael points out.

“I’m not dating anyone.”

“You want to though.”

Alex stops working and turns to look at him. He’s not his father or his brother because Michael’s never really been terrified of the looks they’ve given him. Except on Alex’s behalf. The look Alex gives him though is the look of a man who could easily burn the world down. Michael’s seen it directed at him maybe once before and just like then it makes him feel about two feet tall.

“You don’t get to say that to me,” Alex tells him.

“Or what?” Michael challenges, “what are you gonna do?’ He taps the glass as a reminder but Alex remains unmoving, “what are you gonna do, Alex?” He challenges, firmer this time, “you asked and I told you—“

“I wanted the truth,” Alex tells him.

“That is the truth!”

“Then why?” Alex is suddenly on his feet but he’s at the glass instead of leaving, going in exactly the wrong direction. Like always, “why did you do—“ he shakes his head like he doesn’t know where to start, “any of that?”

“Because I wanted to stay, I wanted you to stay,” Michael says and it’s as simple and as difficult as that. His voice doesn’t crack, his emotions lay calm for the first time in—he can’t remember how long it’s been, “and I couldn’t handle the thought of losing you again,” he continues, “not like that, not for good.”

Alex stares him down for a moment, if Michael was better, he thinks he would try to unpack the emotions that shoot across Alex’s face. But there’s time to do that after Alex goes. After he gets somewhere safe. Alex’s one foot has already moved in that direction, because apparently the 3/4 of Alex that’s still him is a stubborn ass but the prosthetic is a survivalist. Statistically Michael knows the 3/4 will win out but he prays to whatever deity is listening that a miracle makes the 1/4 sentient so Alex gets out of there.

“Doesn’t matter now,” he continues, “now you gotta go,” he doesn’t know why his eyes are burning but he shoves the impulse away, “get out of here,” Alex opens his mouth and closes it, “I told you why now go—“

“I didn’t agree to that,” Alex cuts in sharply.

“Come on!”

“No I didn’t agree to that,” Alex repeats, “I didn’t agree to any of what you just said,” his determination start to burn through and the fear is right back in Michael’s bones, “I didn’t agree to any of what you just said.”

“It’s not up to you,” Michael says.

“It should have been,” Alex tells him and his voice is so firm that even if Michael hadn’t known he was right, he would have believed him, “I thought we were past taking choices from each other.”

“Please!” It comes out harsher than he intended but Michael is past caring, “I know you loved me, if any part of you still feels anything for me you gotta go,” he stumbles over the words, “Alex, come on, don’t make this all for nothing. I built that thing, if it kills me it’ll be—“ he fumbles, “justice. It’ll be fine. It’s not gonna be fine if it takes you too.”

“Michael—“

“Go,” he says but the word doesn’t even sound like him. Alex opens his mouth, “Alex,” he runs his tongue over his bottom lip, “come on.”

Alex stares at him, still unyielding but Michael doesn’t have to be in his head to know the words he said are still there. If he ever loved him, if any part of him still does, Alex will go. The world’ll be right again. No big gestures like building a fucking bomb, all Alex has to do is walk out a door. For him it’ll be a big gesture but Michael knows he’s up for it. Or he’s truly past him and this will all be for shit. Michael tries to think of something, of anything he can possibly say.

“I’ll find another way to get you out,” Alex says, “you’re not taking this choice too.”

“I’ll wait here,” Michael says, trying not to go weak with relief. Someone’ll see him. Someone’ll get him out. Or he’ll be far enough away. Michael thinks he at least sabotaged the bomb enough for that. Alex looks at him sharply and Michael tries to grin back at him, “you should probably get a move on.”

“Just—“ Alex looks at the glass. Michael wants to laugh because he’s been hoping for the same miracle.

“No dice,” he says.

“I’m gonna get you out of here,” Alex tells him, firmly enough so Michael almost believes him, “Michael—“

“If you walk out that door, I’ll know,” Michael says simply.

It’s hard to turn his back but if he keeps looking at Alex, he’s gonna lose it. And he can’t. Not if he can get him to go. He hears Alex press his head to the glass and he has to force himself not to look. To once again take another choice from Alex. He can only pray that Alex forgives him for it one day. He listens to the sound of Alex’s feet taking up a solider’s tempo to get away. He listens to the pause and can picture the annoyance on Alex’s face before they continue.

When he’s sure it’s just him and his bomb, he lets the pain double him over. He lets the stinging take over his eyes and the lump in his throat break free. He’s gonna be toast in a minute anyway so what the hell does it matter. Going like this is okay. It’s right. In it’s own fucked up way. He’s going out alone but he’s got the answer to if Alex loves him. Life’s never been fair as far as Michael’s concerned but this, this he can live with. Or end with, he corrects, as the world goes pink and white and hot.

And then it’s done.


End file.
